Is it weird that despite living in a free social world, that we still have to build up some courage before talking to a girl we like? What makes it so hard, why do we freeze when approaching that sexy girl? You probably have already tried rationalizing the situation and talking to yourself before going up to a girl, and find it doesn’t bring very positive results.
The reason for that is as follow: you’re in your head and not in your body, and that is actually the worst possible thing you can do before going up to a stranger. You will appear as creepy and weird, because you’re nervous.
But with this article we are going to show you 3 simple principle that you’ll help you get a girl you like, but if you’re looking for a more comprehensive book that will show you exactly what to do get the girl you like, I recommend you check out: Pandora’s Box
Learn to Use Social Vibe, and Stop the Usual Anxiety
Courage is a bit of a misnomer for what is needed before going up to a girl you like. What really is needed, aside from having great confidence in your own body and inner self, is social momentum, also called social vibe.
If any preparation is needed before walking up to that special girl you like, it is to be in a great social mood. Being in your head and talking to yourself certainly won’t help. And certainly if you just spend the past few days alone watching T. V, it would be hard to turn on your social mood like a light bulb.
Furthermore, it is almost necessary that you have surround yourself in a socially dynamic and fun environment for a while previously, and preferably involving women. The best way in doing this is to include those environments in your everyday life, so that the right social vibe is built into you. Courage is not the right ingredient to get past approach anxiety. Social vibe and social skills are what’s needed to get a girl you like.
Also, your dynamic vibe, and your awareness as well, must be sincere. You need to really experience them internally. Some of the best of the best guys with women are always in a great social mood day and night, so to them there is not nothing particular or special about it. That’s just how they live.
They don’t prepare for their interactions with beautiful women, they are constantly in state (mood). Of course, you could use the building of your social momentum as a way to warm up for interactions with the girl you like. Just like profession athletics doing their stretches, before going out for the actual event. But it would be way more powerful to fully integrate these behavior and rhythm into your everyday life, and apart of who you are.
You Deserve Her
Now that we’ve cleared up what is really need to approach, and get the girl you like, Let’s go over what it really takes to actually attract and get a girl you like, or you really want.
First, you must really believe and understand that you truly deserve that girl you like. General rule of life is, when you feel like you deserve something, you’ll act more confident, and most likely end up getting it. On the other hand, if you don’t feel like you deserve something or that someone. and believe he/she is better, or too good for you, you’ll act desperate, needy and approval seeking. And we all know nobody likes to hand around someone that is needy, insecure, and approval seeking.
So how do you truly feel you deserve being with the girl you like? Let me tell it, it isn’t easy at first to really feel that you deserve something you’ve never had, but do it anyway. One good way is to make a list of everything that you can offer, it might be your knowledge, or a skill, or your positive person, as long as it is really you, and trust me you definitely has something to offer.
Now read the list, and while reading it really feel that you have something to offer to the world and not just her. I know this might seem like the self-help affirmation stuff, but trust me it really works.
Once you truly feel deserving around the girl you like, you’ll act more confident, become none needy, and that is what it takes to really get the girl you like. She want a men who has something to offer, a men take can bring her on an adventure.
Oh by the way, girls actually do like guys who don’t think of themselves as deserving. That is true, those guys usually end up as her «pet», the men who caters to all her needs, just to prove that he can live up to her standard. And of course she accepts it, toys around with him for a while, until she gets bored. And trust me that is not the men you want to be.
Have the Courage to Change, and Go for What You Want
Apart from feeling deserving, you need to have the courage to question yourself and understand why are you doing what you’re doing in life. Are you doing things to please others? Do you have dreams, and are you going for them? Have you constantly been justifying to yourself on why something can’t be achieved?
This is where the real courage resides. It resides in asking questions about yourself that might lead to answers that you don’t want to face, but it is good in the long run. It is a way to get rid of the bad, and welcome the good. To honestly assess yourself, to understand what is really stopping you from getting a girl you like. And perhaps you’ll finally realize that the only thing that is stopping you from getting that girl you like, is yourself, and nothing else.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve master the art of social vibe, or you feel deserving of the girl you like, if you don’t have the courage to act, and go for what you want you’ll never get a girl like. So the truly it isn’t about «Do you have the courage to get a girl you like?», but rather «Do you have the courage to claim what you want?»
So have the courage to admit it to yourself, that you’re the only want that is stopping yourself from getting the girl you like. Accept your flaws, weakness, and strength, then make a change toward the better. It is a ashamed that most people refuse to change, as it is more comfortable and easier to live in their past, then to really go for what they want. It is easier to just watch T. V and drink bear with your buddy, then to actually go talk to the girl you like.
With that being said, don’t be too harsh on yourself either, you don’t have to treat your past actions as mistakes, and punish yourself, simply accept them, and move forward. Winners never dwell upon their mistakes, they move forward.